It can happen to anyone.

Kids, parents, husbands, wives, siblings...and anyone can commit it. 

What is important is understanding what you can do to identify it, prevent it, and stop it. 

This is a compilation of some of the research done on domestic violence. 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2940193/ - A study of domestic violence in West Bengal. 

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0140673602085215 - The gender paradigm in domestic violence research. 

1. Charming.

Initially, they shower their partner with praise, adoration, and attention. The courtship is sweet and intense filled with phrases such as, “I can’t live without you.” They quickly push for an exclusive relationship or engagement.

2. Jealous.

They view other people as a threat to the relationship and accuses you of flirting with everyone from their sibling to the mailman. “I know you are looking at them.” The irony is that they are often the one who is cheating.

3. Manipulative.

This person is very intelligent. They know how to detect your weak spots, and they use your vulnerability and past pain to their advantage. “You were abused as a kid because you are so ugly.”

4. Controlling.

They want to know where you are going and who you are with at all times. They may check the mileage on your car or follow you to the grocery store. They often refuse to allow you to work because you might “meet someone.”

5. A Victim.

Their poor choices are everyone else’s fault. When they lose their job, get into a fight, or a business deal falls through, it’s always because of the other person. They are never at fault. “You make me hit you.”

6. Narcissistic.

The whole world revolves around them. As the “little person who is beneath him,” it is your job to meet their every need. They are the master; you are the unworthy slave. It’s invigorating for them to know that everyone around them “walk on eggshells.”

7. Inconsistent.

Mood swings are a common trait for an abuser. One minute they seem happy and sweet, the next they are pounding their fist.

8. Critical.

No matter how hard you try you will never be able to satisfy this kind of person. They think nothing of degrading and verbally assaulting you. “You are a stupid, fat, disgusting person. You can never leave me. No other person would have you.”

9. Disconnected.

Their main goal is to isolate their victim from family and friends so that you are totally dependent on them. “Your family causes too much trouble for us. I don’t want you seeing them anymore.”

10. Hypersensitive.

The slightest offense sends them ranting. Everyone is out to “get them.”

11. Vicious and cruel.

A significant number of abusers harm children and animals as well as a partner. Inflicting pain and intimidating others is what gives them power. “I’ll kill you before I’ll let you go. If I can’t have you, no one will.”

12. Insincerely repentant.

They will swear to never “hit you again.” But unless they receive professional help and strong accountability it’s very unlikely that they will change.

Julia Phillips was convicted of strangling her boyfriend Melvin Roberts -- who was the mayor of York, South Carolina -- in 2003. He had stopped supporting her financially and was about to cut her out of his will, so she wanted to beat him to the punch. Some believe Phillips had an accomplice perform the murder, but no one else was ever charged. Link.

At age 16, Courtney Shulhoff and her boyfriend Michael Morin murdered her father by beating him with a baseball bat while he slept. She often told Michael that her father had physically and mentally abused her, he cut her off from his credit cards, and he did not approve of their relationship. These statements likely prompted the conspiracy between them -- though Michael is believed to have done the ultimate deed. They are both serving life sentences. Link.

Juatasha Denton-McCaster was done with her marriage to Norman Raymel McCaster, but instead of divorcing him, she methodically planned to shoot and dismember him. In 2012, she did it, and dumped his body in a field. The remains were discovered, and Juatasha was ultimately sentenced to 78 years in prison. Link.

Courtenay Savage fired rounds of bullets into the home of her former business partner Christina Lodrini, nearly hitting her 13-month-old baby. She did this not just once, but three times. The motive? Savage believed Lodrini owed her money from her aroma therapy business, which she had given to Lodrini when she was ill. While out on bail, Savage went on the run, winding up on America's Most Wanted. She was caught a year and a half later and charged with eight counts of second-degree attempted murder, resisting arrest with violence and criminal mischief. Link.

Amy Bosley was angry with her husband Bob for having affairs. She decided to embezzle $2 million from his roofing business as revenge, essentially ruining him -- but it wasn't enough. In 2005, she shot Bob six times while he slept -- and while her two children were in the home. Link.

Within months of her marriage to Frank Rodriguez, Angelina Rodriguez took out a $250,000 life insurance policy on him. In 2000, she was suspected of poisoning Frank's tea and Gatorade, and loosening the gas cap on their dryer -- but the cause of his death was unknown. Angelina couldn't take out the policy without a cause of death listed. When she pushed for more testing, it was found that she killed him. She is currently on death row. Link.

Amber Trudell, a married woman, had an affair with her yoga instructor Michael Dojaquez in 2003. When he refused to marry her, she shot him, the prosecution said. She was sentenced to 13 years in prison. Link.

Adrienne Hickson was a promising student who stabbed her boyfriend Shawn Washington to death in 2005 when she suspected him of having an affair. Link.

Ana Trujillo bludgeoned her boyfriend in the face 25 times with a 5.5 inch heel, dubbing her crime the "stiletto shoe murder" in 2013. The prosecution argued she was a violent drunk, and though she claimed self defense, she was convicted. Link.

Ann Kontz was found guilty of conspiring with her lover to poison her husband Eric Miller's food and drink with arsenic in 2000. The case lingered for 4 years before she ultimately had to admit her involvement. Her lover Derril Willard killed himself one month after the murder. Link.

Catherine Hamborsky is serving up to 24 years in prison for the 2005 shooting and stabbing of bartender Thomas Lesniak after he refused to extend her tab to play video poker machines. Link.

Camia Gamet stabbed her boyfriend, Marcel Hill multiple times and hit him in the head with a floor lamp. She and Hill had had a violent, drug-fueled relationship, and she had stabbed him in a previous dispute. Though she claimed self-defense, she was convicted. Gamet callously laughed and rolled her eyes during her sentencing. She was sentenced to life. Link.

In 2009, Collette Reyes shot her husband Juan in the head after he divorced her and moved out. She claimed mental illness (she was in fact extremely disruptive in court and had wild religious views), but the court decided she exaggerated those problems to control her family. During the trial, her daughters alleged that she was physically abusive. Reyes was convicted and sentenced to 45 years. Link.

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