Reply to Dismissal

We have the final portion of Amber Heard's attempt to fight this case...except she can't really decide if she wants the case dismissed or moved. More on that later. 

All of us expected this filing to be jammed up with even more outlandish lies. 

"Johnny Depp tamed a bunch of unicorns and ordered them all to trample me for five hours."

"Johnny Depp has the Infinity Gauntlet. He wanted to use it on me."

"Johnny Depp is a werewolf. I've seen him transform."

"Johnny Depp has this condition where he gets super big and green...he gets pretty angry too."

"Johnny Depp is Iron Man."

"Johnny Depp dragged me from Los Angeles to China. By the hair. Without ever stopping."

"Johnny Depp tried to tie me to a F22 Raptor."

"Johnny Depp is responsible for 911."

"Johnny Depp and Oprah were having an affair."

"Johnny Depp is actually the leader of the Illuminati."

"Johnny Depp and Marilyn Manson secretly got married in Hell."

"Johnny Depp is a priest of the Church of Satan."

"Johnny Depp is the father of dragons."

"Johnny Depp is the reason why Aquaman sucked. It wasn't me."

"Johnny Depp pointed at me once. It scared me."

"Johnny Depp threw a car at me. A 1965 purple Mustang, to be specific."

"Johnny Depp is a merman."

"Johnny Depp really is the immortal Captain Jack Sparrow. That's why he plays him so well."

"Johnny Depp controls Donald Trump through expensive mind control technology."

"I'm smart."

.......but in reality, the filing contained nothing entertaining at all. Sad day.

So, let's get into it.

Mr. Lawyer.

First of all, have you ever heard of trains? Or boats? Or planes? Or bicycles? Or automobiles? Or four-wheelers? Or snowmobiles? Or motorcycles? 

Evidently not, because you are clearly under the impression that people and evidence cannot be transported anywhere. 

As far as your comment about the premises...the premises that this case involves (actually there is only one premise in California that is involved in this case) are no longer viable for evidence, nor are they publicly available. By this logic, considering the only premise in either party's submission that is located in California are the Eastern Columbia Building condos, the case could also be litigated in Australia, on the Eastern Oriental Express, and any of the hotels that Heard mentioned. I assume evidence and witnesses could travel there too. 

The basis of this case, which is the defamation of Johnny Depp at the words of Ms. Heard, arose from an article that was originally published in the Washington Post. The Washington Post, a wide-reaching publication, is located in Virginia. So, being that the article that Mr. Depp is taking issue with was originally published in Virginia, would it not make sense to litigate in Virginia? Frankly, you arguing for transfer to California based on the inability of witnesses and evidence to travel is laughable. 

Also, Kevin Murphy lives in Illinois. 

So, by any sensible measure, since Amber Heard chose the Washington Post as the publication that she wished to use to mass-publish her article, the cause for action arose in Virginia. You and Ms. Heard can wish that Virginia could just BE California all you want, but it isn't going to happen. 

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